The last two weeks have been jam packed. This blog is my attempt to explain.
Ahhh… Princess Bride as a metaphor for life.
Okay so summing up:
Last week I went to Kripalu Yoga & Health Center. It was a safe and supported space for my newly-returned-from-deployment husband and I to reconnect.
At the same time, I was deep into Rounds 1 & 2 of the ThinkKidThink.com March Madness Poetry Contest. I’m only disappointed that more people didn’t like my Miss Trumpet poem because I loved it so much. (reprinted below)
From Kripalu, I went to visit with my dear friend and author Meg Wiviott. I was able to revise a few picture books and get some perspective on life.
From Meg’s I went to VCFA for the Novel Writing Retreat. (Deb Michiko Florence is doing a great summary of that on her blog. Check it out.) At the retreat, I met wonderful people, got helpful (and positive) feedback on two novels. Right now, I’m trying to get amped up for another round of revisions on my crew novel.
All this time, I have been building a new business as a school and library booking agent!!! More about this soon but if you are a teacher, librarian, or conference planner I hope you’ll bookmark my site.
For those of you who might have missed my poetry, I’ve posted Miss Trumpet below. Happy Poetry Friday and keep voting over at ThinkKidThink. We are closing in on the final four (without preempting your favorite TV shows.)
Miss Trumpet
By Anna J. Boll
When the jazzy band, plays its jazzy jam
Miss Trumpet steals the show.
She slinks in, buttons down her back,
slender,
shiny.
With a wink she says, “Let my brass gown
glint,
in your eyes.
Let me skip you, trip you, Biddley-bop you, through meadows
Let me Wa-wa you, rock you low, slow, like a hammock in springtime.”
And when you’re even and easy she plunges you, Zweedley- BAM,
into ice cold waters.
Dear, Readers. I have be absent but excusably so. I had some unplugged time last week while I traveled from health and yoga retreat, to a friend’s home, to the VCFA writing retreat (More about this later.) It was a week of emotional revelations and rejuvenation but through it all, I wrote poetry!
Yes, the March Madness Poetry Tournament continues and I’m still in the brackets. For round 2 I had the word “jam” and I’m up against, wonderful woman and Highlights editor, Marileta Robinson. What an honor. (She had the word “caricature.”) I hope you’ll take a look at our poems and choose your favorite.
(If you are not a good reader of subtext– I just asked you for your vote.)
Many of the commenters noticed that we both used “jazz” in our poems even though that was not a requirement. If you surf around the site you’ll see that this sort of collective conscious phenomenon happens time and again. Super weird!
Please share the link widely on Twitter, Facebook, and blogs. Parents, please share with kids and teachers. Teachers, please share with students and other teachers!
My first round word for the March Madness Poetry tournament was given to me a little more than 36 hours ago. The word- potion. My opponent has to manage the word- bastardized- into her poem, so I’m looking forward to see what she does with that. Here is the link: Potion vs. Bastardized. Ideally, I’d already be able to see what I’m up against, but Ed Decaria, who runs the tournament ran into a few delays today.
The bad news…
Uh Oh! Round 1 Flight 1 Voting Delayed
Due to changing work circumstances, it is going to be difficult for me to post the poems and polls in a timely fashion this morning. They may trickle in throughout the day, but some may not end up getting posted until late tonight. I apologize for this, but not much I can do. It will just make tomorrow all the more INSANE! If we need extend some polls through Friday lunchtime, we can do so.
Thank you for your understanding!
-Ed
p.s. Poems submitted are still considered FINAL; this is not an extension of the writing period, just a delay of the voting period.
(I’m amazed that he does all this organizing and tech work on a volunteer basis. I should talk to him about that. Maybe get a donation button up on his site.)
The good news…
Again, the poems will be posted: Potion vs. Bastardized. If they are not posted when you stop by Wednesday, please go back on Thursday when they will surely be available. I’d appreciate your vote.
The even better news…
A big thank you to Mrs. Kistler and the 49’ers (her third grade class) for suggesting the word, “potion.” I actually wrote three poems and then revised one heavily before I decided on my final submission. I hope they feel I’ve captured the third grade experience and that they tell all their friends to vote for me :). Keep reading and writing poetry!
It has been a big weekend here at the Boll household. My husband who was away for 16 months with the Navy has returned. Right now we are in the Honeymoon portion of the adjustment period. Dad is a superstar and the boys are on their best behavior. Dinner was lovely (no one argued), weekend chores went well (they did what they were asked the first time)… hmmm why wasn’t it this way for the last year?!?
In some ways, my stress has been releaved. Right now, Hubby has the morning drive and dog walk task and here I am in the quiet of my newly cleaned office to think, and create.
Our family is going through a process of revision. We have to learn to see ourselves again in a different way. There are parts that we want to keep that make us stronger as individuals and as a unit and parts that hold us back from being our best selves. One way to come out happy on the other side of revision is honesty. Stay with me now, this applies to writing too.
In writing, there are bits we fall in love with. It may be an original line, a group of words, a character, a plot twist, but sometimes that bit we love may not be helping the entire piece shine. What follows is a longish post in which I work through the process and thinking of creating a poem. I’d love for you to grab a cup of tea and stick around. After you read, leave me a comment. Is my process similar to yours?
About a year ago while walking Lucy dog in the early morning winter,
I came up with a group of words, “The snow shows, what my dog’s nose, knows.” I’ve been struggling to work a poem around this line. It started like this:
Then like this:
Waking to White
The moon winks in my window,
starry laughter fills the night,
My fingers find Nell’s furry ears,
and then I wake to white
Six feet on floor, we leave the bed, a chill is in the air Nell’s collar rings, my parents snore, we skip the creaky stair.
Wet nose to knob, Nell has her coat, a wagging welcome mat. But wait I need one layer more, a scarf, two boots, a hat.
We slice through cold, we run and leap,
into the covered field.
A rising sun, a rosy sky,
a sparkle show revealed.
Nell on her back, she wiggles, twists,
dog angels all around.
Woodsmoke fills the morning air,
but Nell just sniffs the ground.
Usually Nell leaves me out
I’ll never have her expert snout
Today for sure, I know I’ll win
I’ll be my doggie’s sniffing twin
The snow shows, what my dog’s nose,
knows.
At this point I’ve struck the pieces that are holding back the poem. I created a whole story here. Is it really necessary, I ask myself, all this build up? I really love the image of the moon in the first stanza, I can skip the kid and dog going down the stairs and getting ready to go outside if I trust that the reader knows a child wouldn’t be out in the snow in their PJ’s. Also, the piece about Nell already having her coat is a little inside joke to myself and a homage to Else Holmelund Minarik’s, “What will Little Bear wear?” The next stanza brings the child and dog outside, and I also like the imagery of a sparkle show. What if I turned those couplets around in order? Then the transition from night to day, inside to outside, calm to play might work better.
A rising sun, a rosy sky, a sparkle show revealed. We slice through cold, we run and leap, into the covered field.
Nope. That doesn’t work for me. Even though the syllables, 8 in the first line and 6 in the second, are the same, “a sparkle show revealed” feels more settled and doesn’t lead into the next line. Also, going straight from the child waking to being in the snow is too abrupt. Hmmm…
What about this:
All suited up, we’re out the door into the snowy field.
A rising sun, a rosy sky,
a sparkle show revealed.
I lose the active verb “slice,” which I liked, but now I’ve gained “snowy” which helps the reader who might not have gotten that the white in the first stanza was snow. I like this better.
Now I have to deal with the fourth stanza which bothers me because the rhythm changes from 8 and 6 syllables to: 7, 8, 8, 8. This ups the pace and let’s the reader know something is going to happen but to me, it feels a little drastic.
What I need here, to make the final line work, is to set up the contrast between between Nell’s abilities to track invisible scents and the experience of the child who can finally see the critter pathways in the snow. But wait, doesn’t the last line already say all that? What happens if I just ax that fourth stanza?
Nell on her back, she wiggles, twists,
dog angels all around.
Woodsmoke fills the morning air,
but Nell just sniffs the ground.
The snow shows,
what my dog’s nose,
knows.
This doesn’t feel right either. I still feel that the contrast between human and dog, grass and snow aren’t specific enough. While I’m driving in the car, I come up with the line, “critter paths, hide in summer grass” which is 8 syllables long. This is the same number of syllables as the pay-off line at the end. It also fulfills that transition and contrast void I was feeling. Here is the final poem.
Waking to White By Anna J. Boll
The moon winks in my window,
starry laughter fills the night,
My fingers find Nell’s furry ears,
and then I wake to white
All suited up, we’re out the door
into the snowy field.
A rising sun, a rosy sky,
a sparkle show revealed.
Nell on her back, she wiggles, twists,
dog angels all around.
Woodsmoke fills the morning air,
but Nell just sniffs the ground.
Critter paths,
hide in summer grass
but snow shows,
what my dog’s nose
knows.
Thanks for reading Creative Chaos. I’d love to see your comments, what would you like to see? Happy revising!
Creative Chaos 