The Olympics are on our home TV most of the time these days and with it has come some interesting and important conversations. My feminist ideology informs my viewing and my commentary of various media and one of my two sons often retorts that I am a conspiracy theorists. Sadly, this Olympics has provided me with prime examples of sexism in reporting.
This article from CBS This Morning details the most publicized snafu’s and coded sexism from commentators, explaining women’s achievements in relationship to other men: their husbands, their coaches, and other male athletes. The basic lesson here is that language is inextricably a marker of the systematic inequalities in our society.
Those who aren’t convinced can look at this CNN article from Henry Young who describes “new research from the UK’s Cambridge University Press, which has looked at the way we talk about men and women in sport.” How do we talk about men and women? Men are strong, and skilled, women are married, or moms, or have a new uniform designed by X.
Huffington Post writer Sarah Beauchamp enumerates sexist things ending with the statement from NBC’s Marketing Exec John Miller that (to paraphrase) women like the journey, the narrative of the athlete and not the outcome.
What does this really mean when the male executives who make our viewing decisions don’t think that women watch sports…for sports?
My son theorizes, in defense of Mr. Miller: He’s probably just going on the demographics data that they have. You don’t like sports?
My response: Why am I here watching the Olympics?
My son: You don’t like watching sports with us other than the Olympics. Like football.
Me: No. I’m not a fan of watching grown men crash into each other violently for three hours with an hour of commercials. I like rowing, and equestrian, and gymnastics, and fencing, and weightlifting. Sports that our US media chooses not to air on a regular basis. Therefore, their demographic numbers are skewed.
My son: But people like football, baseball and basketball.
Me: That’s all they give us.
Son: Because that’s all that’s worth watching.
Me: The decisions to cover and sponsor those sports exclusively came to be when women didn’t have access to sport. Corporate and collegiate money in this country created a pipeline that led to high paying and elite competition for men that was televised.
I didn’t go into the importance of Title IX in trying to alleviate these inequalities. He’s heard it before. The argument continued until I pointed to a prescient comment under one of the articles that observed those who aren’t affected by the inequality often don’t feel the pain of the injury. I recently appreciated a quote,“When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.” (I can’t find the attribution although I’ve found it used in a variety of posts and articles.) Basically, my son, and the other folks who rail against evidence of sexism in sports don’t see a problem because it’s not a problem for them.
Being a commentator is difficult. People can take words out of context or lack empathy for the fact that a commentator has one minute to fill with only 10 seconds of real info. Still, that’s what a talking-head signs up for, AND…each commentator has an army of producers and researchers literally in his or her ear to give stats and facts.
Tell me how many hours a day the athlete practices.
Tell me more about the rules of the specific sports.
Tell me (and possible future athletes) about the pipeline for these athletes to get where they are today.
Tell me how this athlete was able to raise the private funds to get where they are today and how other countries do it differently.
Tell me how they get a horse to prance in place.
These are the questions we run to Google for but if NBC was doing its job, we wouldn’t have to.
I’ll leave you with this link to amazing photos of female athletes at the games. Enjoy!
Yesterday I got a notification that my blog was having a banner day–surprising since I haven’t posted in two months–and it reminded me how busy the last two months have been. As readers of Creative Chaos might know, I’m almost two years out from a divorce and the economic insecurities that often accompany divorce can be stressful. More on that in a few…
Over the past year I’ve been pleased to find challenging and satisfying work event planning at Maine Share, doing customer service work at LLBean, and event planning at Bowdoin College. All along, I’ve been volunteering as the Program Director with my local rowing club. This spring, they hired me as their part time Head Coach as well and I’ve spent a great deal of time in the last two months on the water teaching adults and teens to scull and sweep row.
In addition to the coaching and program directing I’m also SUPER happy to have found a part time temporary home at Islandport Press as their Author Relations and Events Coordinator. In this position I’m able to help Islandport authors with social media, blogs, book them in bookstores and festivals, and help create publicity campaigns and events to sell great books. (Shameless plug: please follow Islandport Press on social media.)
We now rejoin our program of economic insecurity already in progress…
I love what I’m doing. Still, anyone who has juggled a family, writing, and more than one job knows that the sum of the parts feels WAY greater than it should (ie: 1+1+1+1=100) Part of that 100 number is the chasm of unemployment that looms with temporary jobs. Once the rowing season ends, and the temporary position with the publishing house ends I’m on the search again. It’s a feast and famine sensibility so in the last two months I’ve also written and delivered an article to the new Coxing Magazine (so exciting!), given a presentation to the Romance Writers of Maine, and taught a rowing workshop to counselors at a local sleep away camp. I’m the busy ant storing for the winter.
If there is a positive about the looming chasm of unemployment it is that I might actually get back to my works in progress (a middle grade novel 1st draft and 2 PB rewrites) which wait patiently on my computer. I also might be posting more here at Creative Chaos. I will keep you updated. Cheers!
I’m almost done with HOT PTERODACTYL… and can’t wait to tell you about it. Also, I’m currently reading a Sporty Girl Book from gymnast Shawn Johnson that I’ll be reviewing over at Sporty Girl Books blog. For my adult bookclub I’m supposed to be reading LEMONCHOLY LIFE OF ANNIE ASTER, by Scott Wilbanks, but I got scheduled to work that day so it slipped to the bottom of the pile.
In addition to these amazing books, I’m also looking forward to new books from Julie Berry, THE PASSION OF DOLSSA, and Kate DiCamillo’s, RAYMIE NIGHTENGALE.
What’s on your pile!
Last Saturday I presented the workshop “The Business of Children’s Writing 101” with the Maine Writers and Publishers Alliance. We had a cozy class which allowed the participants to get some great one on one attention as they crafted their elevator pitches and queries in advance of the New England SCBWI spring conference. We discussed the journey of a book from manuscript to publication, defined Midlist, and learned not to defend our work in a critique. We even got to have a mini-workshop for those who had brought picture book manuscripts.
The afternoon brought a web hunt of great kidlit blogs, social media, and kidlit community events that I’ve listed below.
Most important—we discussed that craft comes first and that if you have trouble with your pitch or query it often means that your manuscript is not quite ready for prime time.
If you missed this class and would like MWPA offer this or other kidlit workshops again, please contact Josh Bodwell, Director of MWPA. Happy writing!
A Few Great Blogs:
Through the Tollbooth: VCFA students who do in depth pieces on craft.
Lynda Mullaly Hunt, Be Someone’s Hero, No Cape Required: Specific connections with literacy, student success, and educators.
Cynthia Leitich Smith, Cynsations: Clearing house of amazing info from the industry including guest bloggers.
Seven Impossible Things Before Breakfast: In depth illustrations and illustrators, process, production, and more.
Jama Rattigan, Alphabet Soup: Reviews of food-based books, poetry.
Ingrid Sundberg: Great posts about story structure, screenwriting, and plot.
Pub(lishing) Crawl: Group of authors and industry professionals posting about craft and business.
A Few Great Kidlit Retreats/Resources:
Isn’t it funny how you (and by you I mean “I”) can be going along not really knowing that things suck until you (again “I”) go somewhere where things don’t suck at all. The void of suck makes you (you got it right?) wonder how you let it get so bad–how you allowed the insecurity, stress and lonely trolls to creep in and squat in the corners of the room with the dust bunnies and dog fur.
This was my experience over the last week when I attended the VCFA Novel Writing Retreat. I was wonderfully surrounded by people. People who love books and writing and who struggle with the insecurity that seems to go hand in hand with writing books. People who support you and are there as a sounding board for plot issues and word choice and grammar. Add to that three square meals a day, no laundry, no bills, no carpools or volunteer requirements and you’ve (I’ve) got paradise. A huge thank you to Sarah Aronson and Cindy Faughnan who create the heavenly space for all who participate.
The retreat, with its lectures and critique opportunities, turned into a week long rediscovery and love affair with my Work In Progress. I only hope that I can keep the momentum rolling and the trolls at bay.
People who need people
Are the luckiest people in the world,
We’re children, needing other children
And yet letting our grown-up pride
Hide all the need inside,
Acting more like children
- 5 Colleges
- 3 Hotel Nights
- 2 Nights in Extended Family Guest Rooms
- Too many meals out
- 3 Meals at College Cafeterias
- 800 Miles
- 1 Urgent Care Visit
- 2 Sets of Antibiotics and Meds
I have entered a new chapter in parenting called The College Search and Application Process (C-SAP?). Some college search and application information and many skills can be passed from family to family and taught by agencies and organizations. Still, each child and parent/child relationship is different therefore each journey is individual. For me this is going to be a journey of learning to back off.
For instance, on the one hand, a young adult might be able to eloquently ask questions in a tour and talk to students easily but when faced with an admission counselor behind a desk that same young adult might only give one word answers. This could be difficult for the parent who knows that a more in depth answer would show what a marvelous, committed, unique and talented individual that young adult is. (All hypothetical. Of course. But you bet your a** I jumped in and started asking more specific leading questions.)
Here’s the thing, a child of 15 or 16 is almost ready, wanting to be ready, to make big decisions about his/her life and they are also, and at the same time, a parent’s baby. Nothing illustrates this dichotomy more clearly than the sick young adult. In the weeks leading up to this trip the snot had been flowing. We’d gone through miles of facial tissues and plenty of antihistamines. I’d been hoping that the crud would magically disappear when their vacation started. Instead, it multiplied and I had two sick kids. Nothing doing. They’d sleep in the car and finally get some rest away from constant homework, play and music rehearsals. We’d soldier on and do the tours anyway although I was apprehensive about how son #1’s sample voice lesson would go.
We were fine until that moment at college #3. There we were in a standard double dorm room. Two desks, two bureaus, two dressers, two beds and about twenty five parents and their children. That’s when I looked over at son #2 and saw that although he was in a winter hat and coat, he was shivering and had turned a shade somewhere between mauve and mint. We had already visited the urgent care office at the behest of my cousin who, after hearing both boys blow their noses and hack up a lung for two days convinced me that one could never be too careful. That’s how we found out that son #1 had sinusitis and that son #2 probably just had a bad cold. That hadn’t stopped the Drive-thru Doc from prescribing both kids a cocktail of antibiotics (just in case), allergy meds (?), and steroids to help with the inflammation. The group and son #1 continued the tour while I took son #2 back to the admissions office, wrapped him in a blanket and started him on the antibiotics. Good thing I did because the lab result for strep came back positive.
Once the antibiotics kicked in, both sons were leap frogging from one hotel bed to the next and having pillow fights but I was left wondering, how are these children (for whom I fill the bathroom with steam and rub their chest with vaporub and make sure they take their meds and give family medical history) going to be okay without me? They just are, and I know it. I know it from letting them go every other week as I share custody with their father. I know it as we leave each other for travel to camps and schools and conferences. I know it in the eyes of the accomplished and sensitive young men they are becoming.
My ability to back off, however, is less assured.
Hey Friends! Some of you may know that in addition to writing for children and young adults, I also am the Program Coordinator and Coach for Merrymeeting Community Rowing Association (MCRA). Tomorrow night, I’m presenting Local Rowing Inside & Out at the LLBean Camping Atrium in Freeport, Maine at 7pm. I’ll discuss local rowing opportunities, and MCRA’s programing. A significant portion of the time will be dedicated to a workshop demonstration of proper rowing technique and effective fitness training using the indoor rowing machine that sulks in the corner of your gym’s aerobic room. Wear fitness clothing and come learn how to row!
Thanks to Black Girl in Maine I read an article about Instagram Moms. I blog, Tweet, and Facebook so I don’t have a lot of time to put into Instagram but after seeing the beautiful images in the article I took a quick look around my little house and laughed. Okay, I guffawed. Branding your family? Let’s get real, I thought.
Since the divorce, I have had my kids basically every other week (which has been a tremendous change and emotionally seismic shift after being an all the time Navy mom with an often detached or deployed spouse.) When the kids are to arrive I do a thorough cleaning. Toilets get scrubbed, I make my bed, laundry is done, even if it languishes unfolded and the boys have to scavenge for underwear.
When they are not here, I try not to hold myself hostage to my good-girl proclivities. There’s no one to impress anyway and my writing is the most important thing. The mail stacks up along with the TBR (To Be Read) pile. Right now I’m starting a new writing project so my resource books and notes, journals and plotting tools litter my tiny desk. I eat in front of the TV at night and binge on House of Cards while tweeting and checking in on Facebook friends to relax .
So to all the Instagram Moms this is how one Single Writer Mom lives.