Today is Yom Kippur, the Jewish high holy day of atonement. This means that I’ve been fasting all day and thinking about the wrongs I’ve committed throughout the past year. I’ve also been thinking of how I can make myself a better person and the world a better place. I went to services with my children. It was the first time we went to the synagogue in our new town and as in many smaller communities, it isn’t even in our town and required a bit of a hike. The book that they used was wonderful. Developmentally appropriate and focussing on peace and sharing and apologizing because none of us is perfect. It really spoke to me as did the Rabbi who spoke to the kids about laundry as a metaphor for Yom Kippur. Our clothes get dirty and it just happens. Then Yom Kippur (laundry day) comes and we ask for forgiveness. We come out clean and pure, as white as linens flapping in the breeze. We should try to keep our clothes clean but we know that they are bound to get dirty again. That we all make mistakes but we can always ask for forgiveness.
The sun sets at about 6:30pm today and I haven’t eaten since last night. I’m feeling pale and weak so I’ll take just a moment to atone in public. (At least in cyber space.) I certainly make mistakes.
- I yell at my children more than I should and sometimes I’d like to whack their tushies. (Usually an, "I’m so angry I’m going to bite your nose off," gets everyone laughing instead.)
- I sometimes speak without thinking which hurts people I love. (I hope you’ve accepted my apology C.)
Recently though, jealousy, has been my undoing. (and at the root of #2) I can only speak for myself but I think that there are probably more than a few of us in this children’s publishing game who have been chugging away for a while watching friends and acquaintances receive their first, second, third… (you get the picture) contracts while we are yet to get our first. It’s hard not to feel that green nibble of envy, the hardness of heart that sneaks like a shadow over an otherwise cheery, supportive countenance. Perhaps it is only me and once again, I’ve spoken without thinking. In this case, please blame the light headedness that comes from lack of food. Or just accept my apology. I’m sorry. Sincerely.