The discipline of the blog…and a graduation.

Here is what happens to me when I sit down to post to my blog these days.

1. I get an idea- "Today is my graduation from Vermont College of Fine Arts." Simple enough. A little yahoo! a few tears an amazing accomplishment. Shouldn’t be hard.
2. I start to reflect on the topic. It’s like cleaning my desk. I can’t just pile up the papers and put them neatly in the corner. No. I have to look at each sheet of paper. When I do, I realize that each paper- idea and memory connect to another.
3. Now the post is looking more like "Vermont College and all the amazing wonderful  things that have happened here, all I’ve learned, all about the incredible faculty, the community, my grad rez, my work and…and.. and before I know it the task seems overwhelming.
4. I click to some less daunting thread of the world wide web until I forget all about the blog tab on my desk top.
5. When I get back to it, the post seems irrelevant.
6. Repeat.

In order to reintroduce the discipline of the blog, I’ll be posting small at first. Trying not to get overwhelmed. I’m hoping to blog Mondays,  Wednesdays. Don’t be fussy if I miss a week and share interesting content with others when it moves you. Comment often to keep me going. That way I know you are out there and that it is worth it.

I do graduate from Vermont College of Fine Arts today. My residency has been wonderful. Full of friends new and old. A few stand out lectures from faculty and a lot of pride watching my fellow League of Extraordinary Cheese Sandwich members ace their lectures. The readings have been amazing. Each one full of heart and soul. We’ve come so far, and the growth is all based on two years of intense study and work.

My lecture and reading were well received. I am so thankful to the entire VCFA community. This process has taught me not just how to write, but how to be a writer. I leave the program with confidence. Confidence that might even last a whole week before the fear of creation begins again. I am ready to leave. I know I’ll stay in touch with my dear friends but like the end of an emotional book, I am reluctant to close the back cover.

More reflection in time. Peace.

Crabby in Caribou

I am sitting in a cabin in Caribou, Maine and it is raining. It is raining, and my son has an ear infection. My son has an ear infection which should have been gone 24 hours ago because he is on day 4 of a 5 day anti-biotic. It is not gone. He is tired and crabby. He is tired and crabby and we are in Caribou so we can drop him off for a week of sleep-away summer camp. I do not want to drop off my baby when he is crabby and possibly still sick.

My Mama brain is of two minds. One. Go to the ER. This may be some mutant drug resistant infection. OR two. Relax and give it time. My son will probably wake up in the morning cheerful and happy and well.

Okay. So writing this made me call the ER here in Caribou where, because it is Caribou, the nurse talked to me and said, "Give it time."

This is me trying to take deep breaths while watching my child sleep, and willing him to get better so he can have loads of fun at the camp that he’s been anticipating for months.

Grumble. Sniff.