I won’t lie. I like a little sympathy. Go ahead and give me a pat on the back, a hug, an invitation to dinner or lunch. If you are really feeling generous, ask to take my kids for a couple of hours, the day, a week. Whatever you do- don’t ask me how I am. The questioner can mean so many things that I have to wonder: Do you really want the answer?
Do you want to know the stats on my laundry pile, my dirty dishes, the volume of dog hair in the corners of the room? Do you want the low down on the cost of four new tires and two new sets of brakes? How bout my rant about the military system called DEERS which is supposed to keep track of the fact that my children and I exist and are entitled to health care but didn’t– so now I have to spend a day of my life trying to convince them that we do and that they should indeed pay for that ER trip a month ago.
Probably not. You want to know about my emotional state. Here’s the thing… if I stop running this crazy deployment race long enough to think about my emotional state, I will cry and I know you don’t want that.
Instead, I’ll tell you this:
- My first triathlon is on April 15th. I’m training three days a week now, which is not enough but it’s what I can do.
- Poem in Your Pocket Day is at the end of April, things are coming together but I’m finding it hard to get my tasks done so I feel as if I’m letting down the other organizers.
- I’ve set a March 15th deadline for the revision of my WIP but I don’t think I’ll make that either.
- Teaching is going well. My adult students turn in their first 500 word essay on Tuesday. If they come. If they do the work.
- RA work takes a lot of time and would take a lot more if I could give it. I’m trying to pull together a couple of ideas for Northern New England for the summer. The conference is fast approaching.
- I’m trying to figure out summer camp schedules so that both kids are away at the same time and I can get some respite.
- With the help of the amazing people at AAA Northern New England, I’ve planned a two week trip to meet my husband in Florence and Tuscany in August.
- The kids are definitely sad, but they are troopers like me. I see that more and more these days.
- The swim season is over. Hallelujah! The drive and conflicting schedules between kids was a source of constant stress.
- Baseball season is starting. Egads.
- My children are wonderful musicians which is a source of constant pride.
- We are all healthy and safe and that is what matters.
- I saw my first robin yesterday and feel confident that spring will indeed come.
How are you?
4 thoughts on “How are you?”
I hear you. I told my boss once when my husband first deployed, “If you ask me how I’m doing and I burst into tears; I’m not ok.” And even knowing this, he asked me every single day. So, how are you?
So glad to know I’m not the only one. After I posted this, I thought maybe it was too whiny or honest for the blog. Thanks for the comment. Are u still muddling through or is the deployment over?
just started another deployment, this time, I’m a SAHM. It’s very different on this side of the fence, there’s more time to dwell. Positive attitude is really helping this time too.